Pothole-ooza 2026: The End of an Era

At long last, the much maligned road that runs along Front Beach has received some long-overdue love from Council.

For years, locals have navigated its lunar-inspired surface with a mixture of skill, optimism and the occasional prayer.

Legend has it that somewhere around the third major pothole, an entire family disappeared while towing an RV, a boat trailer, the boat itself, two camping chairs and at least one esky. Search parties were organised. Memorial services were considered. Rumours persist that they are still down there, surviving on melted ice and half a packet of BBQ Shapes.

Today, however, the road has emerged reborn.

Smooth.

Level.

Almost suspiciously so.

Island residents have reportedly been seen driving up and down the stretch repeatedly, not because they need to go anywhere, but simply to experience the novelty of travelling without having to memorise a slalom course.

Early reports suggest coffee consumption has increased dramatically as people gather roadside to admire the fresh blacktop and discuss whether this is, in fact, the same road.

One resident was overheard saying, "I nearly spilled my tea because I wasn't expecting such a smooth ride."

Another confessed they accidentally exceeded walking pace because their bicycle was no longer being shaken apart by geological features.

While we celebrate this historic occasion, let us spare a thought for the potholes themselves. They served their community faithfully for many years. They tested suspension systems, strengthened shock absorbers and provided endless conversational material.

Their service has not gone unnoticed.

Farewell, noble potholes.

You were deep.

In more ways than one. 🚗😂

Thanks to my AI buddy for adding much needed humour to this often controversial and rage-inducing topic. Thanks also to RCC for finally fixing the road. Let's hope we don't need them again anytime soon!

Thank you Marian for the pic!